Friday, November 14, 2014

magic tricks!

Life life and life.oh there is so much to talk about when it comes to life.each day we wake up and do the things we need to do.have we ever wondered if we are actually living?where all of this is leading us to.where would we end up by the end of this?who's expectations are we trying to meet?and who's the real one we need to please?
I can go on and list down thousands of questions we encounter if not on daily basis,maybe more frequent.we are occupied with too many things so sometimes we forget those tiny little things.but most of the time those little things are the one which would change you had you paid more attention to them.
Life is a journey.i bet most of us already know it.but i have to admit sometimes i get confused.which is more important?the end point or the actual going through? And i would have to cheat by saying it has to be a balance of's not a safe answer well maybe it is but that makes sense isnt it.say you are planning for your holiday.the planning could be tiring but enjoyable if you do it correctly but the actual day would need to be amazing to complete this whole yeah indeed the effort we put to get the mercy of Allah so that we could walk out of this life feeling happy and looking forward to the new one is as important as getting that mercy in the end.
It's not life if it's just smooth sailing isnt it?but is there anythg we could change to make it better?have you ever wondered how those people who are being afflicted with things you cant imagine happen to you can still mantain that smiley face every single day?how do they do that?is there a secret or a magic trick?

i was honored to be able to volunteer at the most popular islamic event in London was a talk by sister Yasmin Mogahed. I love much if i may add. she's amaaaaaaazing.

so back to the magic trick. i really love how sister Yasmin put it.She said bad things never happen to good that means we just need to be good people to get a wonderful life isnt it?but hang on a minute wait what?what did you say?bad things never happen to good people?nooooo..i know so and so,she is really pious but she lost her husband,and the other person who is also amazing got robbed the other day ect can you say bad things never happen to good people.does that mean that they are bad people?i'm gonna stop you right there!! no it does not mean that they are bad people.what i'm trying to say is that the way we define bad thing is not how we should. how do you define bad thing?we commonly define bad when we lose something that is important in this Dunya/world.when we lose money,when we fail,when we are poor and the same goes to success.anything of some sort like gaining material things is considered as success.having a lot of money,getting the highest possible raking in the uni or producing the best thesis ever are considered as successful. i'm not saying that those are not important but if we change our ways of seeing and reacting and redefine what is good and bad according to what matters most,life would be much much easier. believe me,i'm a living proof for this! the only definition that we should hold on to as a muslim is this.ANYTHING that brings you closer to Allah(whether it is consider bad or good in terms of this Dunya) is a GOOD thing and ANYTHING that draws you away from HIM is bad simple as anything could be anything really! and remember what Allah said in AL Baqarah verse 216

'But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.'

As I mentioned and as most of the readers of this blog already know,i'm a living proof for this.I can be a good testimonial that when you start seeing things from this perspective insyaAllah insyaAllah life will be a lot cut things short, 2 years ago i was diagnosed with cancer,went through 12 horrendous hours of surgery and few months after that i was told it was spreading and it's in the last stage.took a year off initially for the surgery and ending up continuing my studies and get a treatment in the uk. juggling between being a patient and a medical student is no joke.the straight face you have to pull when your colleague and consultants say nasty things about cancer(of course they dont know).discussion about prognosis with my doctor and the moment he said you might not finish medical school you see upon hearing my decision to go on with my study shook me to the was shattering heart was broken.but alhamdulillah alhamdulillah i cant thank Allah enough for the strength i did not know He gave i hold on really tightly to that phase.if it brings me to Him then it's a good thing.that has become my mantra. i started to appreciate what i have and try living with it.

i could break down, i could wail all my life if i want to but would that cure me?no!so why bother?of course at the beginning it was difficult and to some extent it still is.with my treatment i have to deal with side effects and on the 'bad' days i still find myself struggling. it's a constant battle but it gets easier each day insyaAllah.
one thing i realise while going through all this is frustration basically is caused by two things. either we dont get what we think we should/we want or we get what we certainly do not want. we are human. we are limited in the sense that we cant foresee what is going to happen.with our little knowledge we think we know what is good for us dont we?try and shift that trust to Allah who is most knowing,insyaAllah everything will work out well.for me, those bad days do not happen frequently.i am able to attend class and live most days normally with minimal side effects(alhamdulillah) but when the bad days happen,i find myself a bit frustrated/upset, but then it stroked me that it could be worse.i keep reminding myself of those people who has to do the chemo and deal with the side effects.i keep reminding myself about those people who have it worse than me then i would find myself being thankful to God. Allah will not burden a soul more than it can bear,so have faith in Him. Maybe we are a lot stronger than we think we are!

the next key to be happy and content with life is to learn about these two things; forgiveness and overlooking the flaws.
let's face it, we are all afraid to show our flaws right?because we think that perfection is good and is the only way to go.stop dehumanise yourself. we are full of flaws and by learning the art of looking at the flaws from a different light would change you,trust me. the biggest flaw anyone could have is the inability to overlook the flaws and forgive themselves for having it.we are bound to make mistakes,and sometimes we repeat our mistakes.we are human. stop judging yourself and start living.if you make mistake,repent.we all know that Allah's mercy is bigger than His stop making life so hard on yourself! we need to remember this too,if we want Allah to forgive us,start by forgiving people ourselves.the ability to overlook other people's flaws and forgive them are the two best skill anyone could posses.if you can do these two,your life would be peaceful.i have heard this so many times and i still like it, you forgive someone for you not for them.why?because if you hold grudges not only your heart wont be at rest but you are wasting your time and energy on people who do not even matter. when i was tested, some people stay and some leave.i could hate them but i wont. because i know it's how life is.and when people do what they did,they must have their own reason of doing so. they have their own journey,their own struggles and their own battles to fight. when people leave,i do not resent them because out of all people i should understand how difficult it could be to stay(it's not like i could leave me,could i?lol). However with them leaving it makes me appreciate those who are staying more.How much love does these people have for me to always be by my side praying the best for me?i'm grateful!!i'm not telling you all this personal things for you to feel sorry for me or to force anyone to stay with me but i just think that this will probably be useful so that you could get the idea and then you can see that things happen and sometimes or most of the times in a way you never thought it will but there are ways to turn that around and gain from these. i never knew i would get cancer at the age of 21 but i have to live with that fact i said,it gets easier each day with Allah's will.

having said all of that,again i cant stress this enough but i'm gonna keep saying's not easy,it does not happen overnight,it takes effort and it's a constant battle but it is worth it.there are times when you would feel tired,you think you cant take it anymore,just keep going..keep on reminding yourself. that would help.if you read my blog,most of the posts are's about the same thing really,that's how i remind myself when it gets hard.i need to stocked up the motivations for future use. i pray that Allah will make it easier for you.hopefully we would be grant the highest place in Jannah.Ameen!


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

when u have Allah

when you have Allah you have everything you ever need for in this life and the hereafter.sometimes i feel like i'm losing myself to this world.i keep on thinking about the future but sometimes i forget about the real future.the life after death. i stopped judging people long time ago since i know even a person like me who has been tested with huge affliction tends to forget sometimes let alone everyone else. we are human.we forget things.that's why we need people to help reminding us. i have a huge respect to everyone who does not go through difficulties yet is so consistent in doing good deeds.i'm justa kind of person who needs constant prompting. Allahuu..O Allah please forgive me.bring me closer to youuuu pleaseee.

sometimes i struggle.there are bad daysss. i feel like i jumped off the cliff down to the bottom.i feel like i did not do enough.i feel like i'm so far away from God.i'm sure some of my readers feel the same sometime.when you feel that,hurry up and make wudhuk and pray..or maybe do some dhikr. there's no point of wailing about something you cannot might as well make the change now.we are human..we are meant to make mistake.but if we go back to him and repent would you think Allah the most gracious the most forgiving will ignore us?definitely not.never lose hope..

do not give up.the fact that Allah makes you feel and realise that you are lost means that He loves us and wants us to go back to him.

whenever you feel far from him combat that feeling!counterattack it with more goodness..donate,read the quran,listen to the islamic talks in youtube..listen to someone reciting the quran..anything!we can do this!we can try n be persistent.let's win Allah's love back!!shall we?