sometimes i feel so lost.i lose count on how much things have changed.sometimes i forget about all the blessings i've got. but at one point or another i'll find things that will bring me back to where i belong.back into having faith and trust in my creator. well i know people keep on saying what's the point of turning to Him only when i'm in trouble or facing difficulties. but for me maybe it could be the first step that will help me to be better. well looking back at those days when i pray only because my parents told me to..most of the things i did were lacking of sincerity.same goes to hijab. i started to wear it just because everyone at my age in the place i was brought up did so i just follow them.but as time goes by, with the help of a little understanding in all these things the sincerity develops. so i really dont understand people who like to judge others too early..give everyone enough time coz a sudden change wont last long..trust me. i'm not good but of course each day when i wake up from my sleep i want to be a better person than i was yesterday.
i realise how lazy i have become after alevel. i think i put a lot of effort to get the grades and fulfil qmul requirement finding myself being worn out afterwards. or probably because of too long holidays after alevel exam. starting this course with the little courage i have and so far i'm fine.not the best i can offer but enough not to let me feel too bad. final is 2months away. now i feel the urge to really put my best foot forward. no matter how low my interest in medicine is i believe that somehow someday i'll find myself loving this amazing course. it's amazing when u can use ur knowledge to make a difference in one's life. be it giving them the best treatment or just by being there listening to what they want to share. i really wish that i'll be a good doctor. looking back at my childish thought, i want to stay and specialise here just because of money. thinking from a matured side of my brain i feel the need of going back.i want to be there for my parents. i want them to see me walking in those white coat with stethoscope winding around my neck. no matter how hard things are going to be ma and ku, i promise you i'll fight this battle well and i'll make you proud. i'll make ur dream comes true. i wont disappoint u. i hope God will help me throughout this whole process of achieving this dream of mine and my parents' so that everything will flow smoothly. insyaAllah..amin :)