Friday, February 25, 2011

stethoscope-friendly hijab :)

i was so bored yesterday while learning the scripts for hypnosis exam ,so i was wondering about my upcoming clinical skills exam..we will be given only 5 minutes in each booth to carry out cardio,respiratory,abdomen or nervous systems examination. and in each booth we need to auscultate.. n if we were to wear the hijab normally it's gonna take forever to put that stethoscope here we go..stealing the basic idea from hana tajima style..hehe

this is the picture taken during wawa's surprise party. i baked..cupcakes and tiramisu..happy birthday wawa :)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

wont go anywhere

i look around
it's all dark and silent
nervous heartbeat starts to take over
i feel like i'm in no control
i know i can always move
and go wherever i
but this feet aint moving
they're glued by experiences
that continue to whisper
there are thousands of obstacles
and you can never
recover if you were to fall again
call me pathetic if you like
but this heart
cant be moved anymore
by those sweet words
or even actions
havent u heard?
once bitten twice shy
think what would it be like
if it was more than once
can i cope?
absolutely not and that's the reason
i wont go anywhere
not till i feel safe
not till i'm sure of what's happening
i used to trust people easily
i cant go against sincerity
but now i know
it can be faked
so easily that makes it lose its precious value
i've never been this confused
did we swap the way we think?

Anyone can make u happy by doing something special, but only someone special can make u happy without doing anything~ i'm not those people who think moving on is as simple as getting a new boyfriend. i dont mind waiting longer or being single for a while if this will help me to choose the right one. do u knw the feeling when u're tired of picking wrong ppl n let them break ur heart? that's what i feel right now. tired of all these drama when everyone is nice and sweet at the very beginning. i know the time will come when i need to start thinking abt this rshp thing again but i'd love to give myself more or two year maybe :))

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Saturday, February 19, 2011


nothings wrong missing someone from ur's okay to sometime stalk their fbs or's completely normal.. i learned a few hypnosis skills this's very very cool actually and it can help people to go deep into a stage of relaxation..i can make people lift up their hands as well...cooooooolneeeeess :)

i did self hypnosis as well. it helps me to sleep better and be more relax..i kinda like it though but when i sleep better or go into that deep relaxation state, my mind starts to process things that i left unprocessed.. things that i've been avoiding, things that i refuse to think it's all coming back to me. i need to face it and deal with it. so these few days my mind is working to solve things out in my sleep using the ability of my unconscious mind. i tell everyone how i feel in my dream..i scream i yell i shout to those people who hurt feels good and real..some people may think i sound like i'm crazy but yeah that's what hypnosis me to let all the things i've beeen keeping to myself out in a way that do not affect other people.

a friend called me the other day..she was upset with everything in her life..almost everything..of course relationship-wise.. she said something about not being able to letgo of the guy..stalking him..missing's okay to miss means you're serious when u were with him..stalking him n missing him do not mean you still want or need him in your's just a part of ur memories.. i did the same thing..they sometime came into my dreams..but it's normal..and trust me,when u've found someone's better u'll be over him in a split of a second.

life sucks,why cant i just eliminate him from my memories,you may say..nope..that memory is very important to make sure you do not fall for the same type of guy next time..there must be reasons why it doesnt work out when u guys are together so you would not want the same thing to happen again aite?so u need that memory no matter how hurtful it is.

the wind of love is not strong enough to hit me and cause me to fall... i dont know why..nothing's wrong with's all i guess just go and find another girl.. i dont want to say if it's meant to be it'll find its way simply coz i dont like that sentence..just go..u deserve better than i could ever give..

Monday, February 14, 2011

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

sy gemuk?anda gemuk?kita gemuk?

ahaha..topik ni cm sgt laaa common esp among girls laaaa..n prbbly this is one of the things that guys are sick of listening to..but let me tell you,we cant help it.. :)

what's the definition of gemuk??ade yg nmpak kurus je pun ckp dia gemuk..ade yg xdelaa kurus sgt tp lek2 je..selesa je dgn dia nye bila pmpuan ckp gemuk ni ape mksud dia??

xtau laaa pmpuan lain mcm mane tp for me i consider myself as gemuk bilaa berat bdn naik dr kebiasaan..contohnye kalau b4 ni berat sy 40kg skg dah jd 45 so kira gemuk laaa yg berat bdn mmg mantain 45kg dr dulu msti emo if sy ckp 45kg ni gemuk..bkn 45kg tu gemuk tp sbb naik dr 40 to 45 tuh yg gemuk..ade faham?? it's not the current weight but it's the amount that has been added to the original weight that since fly i've been complaining about myself being gemuk and asyik kena sound mengada2 when i say i'm gemuk means that i've put on more weight compared to the last time you saw me..get it??hehehe..that's how it works for me.

for some people having extra 5kg is not that bmi is now on the border line between underweight and normal so i shudnt be worried..but what i dont like is that all the lemak2 goes to my pipi!grhhhhhhh..hahahah..
i shud be stdying but i dont know what i'm doing right now..haha..

exam is 2 days away...all the best idzni..:)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

i talk to myself!

i hear knocking sound on my door..confused,as always whether it's just illusion or real..the sound becomes louder. i try to convince myself it's just a fantasy. i put the maximum volume to the song i'm listening simply because i want to pretend like i hear nothing. nothing coz i dont want to feel guilty for ignoring the sound. i hate when life give me choices coz i can never choose. i'm not confidence to actually pick what i think suit me best. then i hear a whisper.. that soft voice charmingly attracts me. for the fact that i'm ignoring other sounds, i ask myself should i do the same thing?even though i know it's different this time. my heartbeats are crazy. but my feet are anchored by my thought- i'm scared..what if it's not real?i dont wanna get hurt again. that's my problem. it seems so hard to ever trust anything anymore. i look inside me. i see nothing, nothing that wud make it difficult. but i know one hurdle that's so hard for me to pass instinct? it doesnt work anymore. ever since i sensed something was wrong and i was proven right, i shut it off. probably it's time for me to start stepping out of my comfort zone. i dont know. let's see how convincing it could be to drag me out. but one weird fact is that, when it silences, it's very loud and i know it's bothering me.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

awak dah xnk kawan dgn saya??

i got this A LOT! actually i dont know how to make people understand my situation and my stand about this matter.i dont think i need to explain coz those who really know me dont need explanation and those who need it wont understand.

to be honest, yes when i'm bored or i have nothing to do i wont mind chatting with one condition-we've known each other..unless u're attractive enough,a perfect stranger will remain that way forever. there are a lot of reasons that can stop me from chatting with anyone or not replying when people say hi even texting-wise

1-i have exam in few weeks time..yes few weeks coz now my revision starts at least 3 weeks before exam.

2- i'm using the internet to do other things such as googling information for my case study the next morning.

3- maybe i'm watching movies and couldnt be bothered about anything else-focus koot :)

4- i dont want to like you or i dont want you to like me. i hate it when people give false hope and i dont want to do the same thing.

ok in ur defense you wud say oh i just wanna be's not that i'm trying to hit on you..fair enough. but a real fren would understand that i might be busy doing my things and wont use this kind of ayat-awk da xnk kwn ngn saye lg ke?awak ni sombong laaa?knp awak xreply?

penat tau dgr ayat mcm ni hari2..kwn2 yg rpt slalu je chat..siap ade gp utk ktorg n twitter jugak..kalau just chat sbb nk tau sy tgh buat ape?mkn ape td?best x ddk sini?
lama2 boleh jd rimas gak laaaaa...