Thursday, September 30, 2010


We always used to talk real late after midnight
Now the only thing we do on the phone is fight
Is there a way to make this go away
I don't think that we're gonna be okay

You were my hero and I was your sidekick
Now you're gonna be the tear that I cry when we split
Baby I don't think that I can do this
It seems so wrong makin` up with only one kiss

Don't think that I could ever be
Able to stay with you now baby
Cuz in time I know that we'll both see
We're not meant to be

Cuz you're the one who makes me cry
You would never ever save me
All your words are full of lies
You're not the one I wanna marry

Cuz baby can't you see
We're just a fantasy
There's nothing we can do
We're not the perfect two

We're not the perfect two
We're not the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're not the perfect two

I thought you were my prince and I was your princess
Now that we're here all of that is meaningless
I think I was a fool for letting you fill the spaces
Between my hands and my diary pages

You used to be the one that made me happy
You used to tell me you were lucky to have me
Now you're as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care cuz we're no longer together

Don't think that I could ever be
Able to stay with you now baby
Cuz in time I know that we'll both see
We're not meant to be

Cuz you're the one who makes me cry
You would never ever save me
All your words are full of lies
You're not the one I wanna marry

Cuz baby can't you see
We're just a fantasy
There's nothing we can do
We're not the perfect two

We're not the perfect two
We're not the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're not the perfect two

You know that I'll never love you
Like the way I ever used to
But you know I will remember you

Now that I'm gone I smile
It took me quite awhile
To see we won't walk the aisle

Cuz you're the one who makes me cry
You would never ever save me
All your words are full of lies
You're not the one I wanna marry

Cuz baby can't you see
We're just a fantasy
There's nothing we can do
We're not the perfect two

We're not the perfect two
We're not the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're not the perfect two

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


omg! idk what happened but's cooool.weeeee... :DD
1st pbl lesson wasnt that bad...
i hope i made the right choice..
being a doctor??pretty much a good idea..
esp when it brought you here..
hahahhaa... :O

Saturday, September 25, 2010


the weather was pretty uncool was soooooo fingers were very numb at times but i did enjoy myself at the malaysian food's good to meet azri and amirah though it's just for few minutes.

i'm going for sightseeing this morning with my seniors.they're sooooooo nice
classes are fine so far,i slept in few lectures-sound so much like me huh?but i think i need to change that a bit..being a medical student mean i'm engaging myself in to a task that requires commitment and enthusiasm but but but i wont be a nerd..i dont want to..hehe..

well i bought 3 coats yesterday..went to oxford street.

the weather is killing me..i got very dry skin with angelina jolie's lips..oh my...haih...

hehehe...i'll get very busy next week..pbl and's time to get serious..


Thursday, September 23, 2010

dont fight

when it happens that you know you have so little and yet you still have time to whine about it,it's not gonna make things any better.cry and you'll lose your tears or work it out and u r nearer to gain a little more than that little you have.we can go around saying things and make people believe what we actually have so much doubts about just to convince our own self that things suppose to happen that way..never did we know that actually deep down inside,everything is fading and one day we'll be tired.why not accepting the fact that it happens the other way but if it led to the same path why not?maybe it'll take a little longer,patience is all what we need..

it's forgivable if you let everyone hurts you but what's not is when you're hurting your own in denial is not gonna help..though how much you think you want something,if it's not meant to be,nothing you could ever do to change the fate that has been set for it.i say this coz i've been there,doing exactly the same thing.i do not regret but i hope you do not choose the same path as you need your strength to do other cant afford to screw it now and you know what,if you did the one you wish would care wont.we're selfish in our own ways but sometimes we try to lower it down so that we wud never look like a mean person.but dealing with this,be as selfish as possible for some things are meant to be left to happen on it's own.

some people need a strong hit from the reality to make them realise what's happening.i wish to be the cushion that would slow down the impact so that they would not get hurt as bad but seriously to have a second thought about it,i should not have interfered.they should feel it then they will learn how to be strong,how to drag themselves out of that tiny little hole so that they can breath freely again..

i'm leaving all and focusing on my self family and friends.when someone seeks for a different way of seeing thing,i can give one..but it's only when i have something worth giving.n dont force thing,coz those great one will just happen when you are not expecting anything.
babbling is my hobby but this time i mean it :)


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

london is treating me well

though i miss malaysia,i have to is fun n's the best way of really saying goodbye to bad memories in malaysia..i love to be here..with my new friends n my helpful seniors,life is amazing..i didnt take any pics these few days..excited about enjoying the new environment till i forget to capture every meaningful moment being spent here.

after all the pain,at least now i can smile,giggle sincerely..i dont mind what other people that know everything except the truth wanna say coz this one fine day will come n it's on that day the reality will hit those liars..truth speaks for itself and you know what,i can care less now..enjoying every single thing in my life..

i used to hate when people do not appreciate my effort to help but now i learn something..u treat people in a right way not because they're nice but because you are..this is a policy i'll abide thru out my life..nothing counts more than what i think about myself..n i love my family and my goood friends because i know there are people that do not know how to be nice and they just do :)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

kill me!

kill me n things would be much easier..i always lose people that i love that i care so much about.
oh i feel like crying but they said big girls dont feels like my heart is being stabbed and this time it hurts more than it ever did..why?coz i'm gonna lose all of you..not only one..all that i've been depending on all this while..this dream takes so much SO MUCH!i'm gonna be far away from my family,my closest friends and everyone that has been treating me soooo nicely..
izzie and farhah-take summer no matter how,i'll be there..wait for me in aussie kay..
almaz,ati,ashee n shikin-u guys have been great juniors n friends to me..thank you for everything.i hate it when you guys have to go back to that jungle again!coz u'll online less..but keep in touch okay..will be missing you guys so baaaadly.
see you guys in a year!
all da best!gudluck..i loooooooooove youuuuuuuuu!


Saturday, September 18, 2010


1.saya sukaaaaaa purple

2.i can be oversensitive at times n i do cry! ske dgr masalah org,sy ske bilaaa org gtaw sy,rase best bilaaaa org pcaye..heee one can ever tell what i actually have in mind..jeng3

5.kasar ngn sstgh org,gedik kdg2 *gedik ni bkn yg gedik tu tp yg lain..sape fhm,fhm laaah

6.ble org baik ngn sy,sy akn igt smpai bila bilaaaaa

7.i love my gf!NIK MADHAH:) ade penyakit-fluctuation of emotions xsuka bila sy suka org...

10.ske tgk crite horror or thriller

11.suke jugak crite jiwang xnk jd doctor tolong tolong

13.i can be very mean toooooo

14.ego amt tggi dgn org yg sy suke atau org yg saye rase dia perasan sy suke diaaa...haha..

15.i care about most of my frens suke kammy lari tgn ke belakang

17.pemalas yg amat..nasib baik ade suman yg slalu bg photostat notes

18.kdg2 sy rase hidup ni memenatkaaaaaaaan

19.i knw how to fake a smile :D

20.i said I'M FINE most of the time when i'm not

21.saya ske tgk pmpuan cantik..slalu gak usha2 but i'm straight!

22.i love baking!

23.i dont know how to react ble org puji PEMALU..hahahaha

25.xsuka bila org kalau kena cara sng je nk mntak sy wt bnda..


no no no

i'm certainly moving to that phase but not now.i have yet to get my self as a whole to function well.there are still bits n pieces,here and there and i'm gonna take a break for a little while.really appreciate having you-s comforting me but i'm gonna make it so clear.NO..NOT that!this is what i hate the most when i open up to people..oh walls that have been built,u've got to protect me least for few more months :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

broga broga

saya sukeeeeee!heeeee!ok ni mcm agak gedik..pebenda laa idzni..
banyak gak laa bnda2 yg best jadi dlm hidup sy before nk fly ni..bbq time raya yg sume satu family dtg,duk gelak2 crite2..sumpah best n akan rindu..wpun ade time sy di-fire dgn hbtnye,haha tp xamek kisah pun..sume org happy..

n smlm kakak bw gi daki broga hill..yg ni plg ske activity lasak tp sport xske sgt sbb xreti tau main netball je n badminton stakat pukul shuttle cork boleh laaaa...yg lain mmg xreti bab daki2,masuk hutan,junggle trekking,kayak,abseiling n flying fox sy mmg sukaaaaa..
ni sume start baru je time form4 ble ikut skolah pnye trip g hutan kt setiu kot..haa,pastu terus xdelaaa buat slalu sgt..time time buat sumpah puas hati laaah

sempat pose tuu

di puncak :)
bpeluh yg amat

pics lain ade kt fb..lemak dah dibakar..turun2 makan mcd pulaaaak..haha..but it's the fun that it's okay :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


at last everything has been settled.i've got my visa,my ticket and all the things i need to bring with me to london.guys,i'll be leaving on the 20th sept 2010!confirmed!

this whole process is really tiring.i need to get to so many places.but it's good,i learn how to do things on my own:D
i was quite scared going to visa centre this morning.i didnt want to get rejected,not after paying 1K!..i did few mistakes when i was filling up the form.i used the old version of the form and the photo,they stated not to have any border but mine has!it's either they're busy and did not really take into consideration about tiny little details or God helped me.i would go for the latter :)
the same goes to my driving test. when i was doing the BUKIT thingy,i forgot to turn off the engine but then i've got my P! thank God,i really appreciate all the good things that happened in my i said before,i might not get all what i want but i did get what i need :)

went to accompany someone to meet her future potential in laws..oh man!all my friends are getting involve in this serious rshp already..that makes me feel a bit awkward being in the same batch with different age!.i said something to someone before this-not gonna get involved with this anymore-but i this time around,i wont say anything.gonna let what supposed to happen,happens..

i can feel the excitation vibrating in my whole body.cant wait..really do!maybe because i dont need to worry about my visa and ticket anymore,so i have the whole me to be happy and feeling great about going off to uk real soon.


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

the real last time

i'm off to kl this is my last day in's hard to express the feeling i have inside.have you ever felt that it is the one thing that you really want in yourlife but it takes a lot of what you have in order for that ONE thing to be real?it's true,to have something good that lies ahead,sometimes we need to sacrifice something near to us.have you ever felt that you really want something but you know that it's not good for you,u just dont care,u want it..have you ever felt that u've made the right choice but you just dont know where to go from that moment u made that decision?have you ever felt so lost and nothing is in your mind except for that decision you've made?have you ever felt that you know being optimistic can help you but this time you just want to be the opposite?coz the beauty of being a pessimist is either you'll be proven right or pleasantly surprised.

those are few things bothering me this lately.insyaAllah i'll be leaving on the 20th sept 2010 at 10am in the morning.mara will confirm the date by today but i guess it's gonna be 20th.i dont know whether i'm ready for this or not but i'm sure taht i wont be able to stop my tear from flowing that day.what i'll left behind is like part of myself and how do i survive??
from the other side,i guess i'm pretty excited..this is what i want ever since i was in pc.nk fly g uk :)

my blog is like really about me most of the time and i think only those who r close to me read guys,i'm gonna leave real soon.i'm gonna miss you guys sooooo badly..please please take care and dont forget all the memories we've shared.i love you guys so much for being a part of me..that i can never erase.


thanks for everything
you've been there most of the time
when i really need
a hand to hold
a shoulder to lean on

when i was suffocating struggling
when i cant see anything
coz tears have overflowed
when i cant see the sun
you didnt show me but you just sit there
smile and say
it'll come out someday.

i can do nothing much
to repay all those good deeds
but my prayers would always be with you
so that all the cloudy dreams
will one day emerge
to be
the enchanting reality

IDZNI loves you and that's y i upload this pics..our last shopping together this year..we'll have another one next year okayh:)


Saturday, September 11, 2010


i never knew that looking at the world from the upside down position can be this amazing.haha..this is fun.or it's more precise to say funny??
i didnt like children.i never did try to layan2 diorg pun..haha..but this time,out of boredom i tried.not bad.not at felt great esp when the child gila sombong at first tp last2 she smiled at me..salam n said gudbye before i left..

i enjoyed a lot of things that i never thought doing before this..this raye is really it some kind of transformation to a new stage in my life?whatever it is,it is a good one..i can feel is at its best when you start to appreciate most!


Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and
That you're so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair n' never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3

Every time you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that it's why too late
You’re so confused,
Wrong decisions you have made
Hunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him Raise your hands and pray Oh
Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah we’ll find our way

lagu yg sgt2 motivates me all the times.

Friday, September 10, 2010

raya lg

beraya raya di rumah :))
suasana kg yg aman sentosa...

mencari2 waktu utk upload pic seseorg yg tgh cnfuse nk bli ipod nano atau bag..mke cnfuse gle:P

sorry :D

sorry.a word that now has become underrated i must say..people say it too often till it seems to has lost its meaning somehow.but still it is significant if being said sincerely.raya is a day when you can apologise without being asked why.
this is the perfect time to actually clean up old sins and start to try improving oneself.

well,i never took saying sorry as some kind of a failure to win but it's more on the strength to be able to face the mistakes being done.sometimes i say sorry to people that i know i didnt start the fight with just to not letting the things go on too long.
we made mistakes and we still make it each day but the most important thing is to admit and try to profit from that.mistakes are the best teacher but life is too short to make all ours,so technically we can always try to learn from others' as well :)

so people!start saying sorry and be nice to others.we do not live that long to be by our own.we need others! :D

Thursday, September 9, 2010

raya raya :D

not even once in my life as far as i can remember did my baju raya siap few days before raya..mesti sehari before raya ataupun pagi2 raya...and i dont know why i still tempah kt m.cik yg same though i'm very sure it'll happen this way...asal siap sudah :D

nak raya!okay mgkin sstgh org ckp kita ptt sedih sbb ramadhan da nk tinggalkan kita...bulan yg mmg banyak sgt boleh dptkn pahala if kita on the other side,kita boleh je kan happy.meraikan hari yg mulia ini..teringat zaman kecik..main mercun,g masuk hutan sbb nk tgk ade satu cendawan yg malam2 bercahaya mcm kelip2..pastu bake kuih raya n time bbke mkn kuih tu..haha

senang jd budak kn,xpyh pike byk2..xde masalah..betul!
as you grow older,life gets harder only because we get wiser!we dont go for simple solutions.we tend to think a lot,sometimes too much.

dulu time kecik kalau kita nangis,bagi choc pun da bleh wt kita senyum. tapi skg bila kita nangis,org bagi kita choc kita nangis lagi..sbb kita rase knp org ni bg kita choc,knape dia baik ngn kita n knape yg wt kita nangis tu xbg pun kita choc..hahaha..ironic.

tp ade satu benda yg kita lupa.kdg2 bukan org tu pilih pun nk wt kita nangis,kdg2 kita pun unintentionally buat bnda yg same.kdg2 ade je sbb bnda jadi mcm tu tp kita xnmpak sbb kita slalu sgt cmplain,kita nmpak yg xelok je..yg elok kita pejam sy sgt2 respect dgn org yg berani mengaku salah dia.berani mintak maaf and jugak berani betulkan..maafkan mmg senang,lupakan tu ssh sket lah..nk lupakan bnda xsng tp kita boleh belajar utk melalui hari2 dengan tidak mengingati benda tersebut.

bila dah fly,sume bnda sy kena wt sndr..jln mane sy pilih,ape sy nk buat, sume lah..mak ayah dah jauh,kakak2 pun..kawan mmg ade tp xramai kwn sanggup nk tegur pun penakut..kang tegur2 perang dunia plak if xkena i beg to all my friends..kalau nampak sy ke jln yg kurang betul,tlg2 lah tegur..

selamat hari raya semua.hari raya ni paling bermakna bagi xpnh tgk ayah sy se happy ini.kalau lah sy tahu,sy xkn lah nk jd rebel sgt dulu xnk buat atleast sy buat syg ayah sy,mak sy,family akn rindu diorg..wpun kdg2 sy buat perangai sy y konon2 rimas ble org care too much psl sy,ble sy pike blk sy sedih..jahatnyeee harap tempoh berjauhan dgn family ni akan bukak mate sy seluasnya..dan sy harap sgt utk hargai diorg lebih dari segalanya.sbbnye mcm mane teruk pun sy,diorg terima.

sedih lah pulak entri ni..hahaha..patutnye nak raye happy2 lah kan :D
saye ske lagu raye ni-mcm pelik tp best

raya raya raya selamat hari raya
jalan besar jalan raya
*xigt dah*

p/s:dulu blog sy ni sy ske tulis dlm english sbb time tu nk dkt2 ielts so mcm writing sy agak teruk so cam practice laaa tp skg da nk g negara org,nk tulis dlm bhs ibunda lah :D

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

bright side

my mom let me go to the buka puasa event,for the 1st time in my life i can go out till nite in kelantan without the supervision of my family member.yeay!they treat me like an adult now.but surely will not going to abuse that.

i met my friends,i was so excited till i didnt really feel like eating.meeting my closest friend,dayah really made my day.i told her everything that has been bothering me this i think i really know where this thing brings me relate everything that has happened,i can see a clearer picture now.dayah taught me a lot.from how to perform 'Khuf' and how to pray in the plane and also she told me something about fate.

i can see on which side i'm heading right now.i cant afford to stand in the middle trying to play safe when all i know now is that,only this side can help me to be who i was hoping to long time ago.i hope i'll be closer to that dream.

we're not immortal,anything can happen.watching a lady flew about 2 metres from the back of the bus to the front made me scared.if the time has come,nothing can stop it.i'm going to a foreign land in 10days.i dont wanna leave while having something being left unsettled. i dont wanna leave while any of us is feeling unsatisfied with one another.i wanna make things clear.i'll admit and apologise if i made mistakes.i'm human.sometimes i cant control my anger but i believe someday i'll deal with that kind of emotion's fluctuation well.i'll put aside my ego coz what is the most important thing is to find the inner's time to improve oneself and go back to a right track hopefully.

well,i learned a lot that i have my own plan for the next few years,academically,economically and socially,i hope my life would sail smoothly.sometimes it's good to evaluate things rationally.i'm 19.still a teenager but looking at things with a little bit of maturity is good.but of course i would still enjoy being a teenager.

ramadhan is coming to an end.syawal is approaching.i would like to take this opportunity to apologise for every wrong doings i've ever done before.

Friday, September 3, 2010

omg sumpah sweet giler..

ni website plg sweet pnh sy g..omg!! n i like what he said

someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you've always wanted.if ur someday is yesterday,learn.if ur someday is tomorrow,hope.if ur someday is now,cherish!!! :))))

sometimes we picture ourselves as tiny insignificant star,chasing a beautiful moon.but little did we know that we're being followed and loved by a patient cloud :))

i'm like a shadow that will always accompany you whenever you go,wont leave you alone even for a minute.the difference between me and the shadow is that i'll always be there even when the sun does not shine :))

super duper sweet tp up to this point sy slalu rase yg org boleh ckp ape shj tp sgt ssh utk jmpe org yg betul betul maksudkan ape y dia ckp..hahahha....saya pun mgkin termasuk dlm kategori yg sama..hahaha..

it's a blessing

piranha rocks!!!i love that movie.i mean it's waaaaay better than the descent2.watching two thriller movies in a week made me happy.yeay..thanks to hanizs and piang :))

bumped into quite a lot of familiar faces in klcc just now..:)) faris,felix,piang,farid,mando n amy of course:p

another 15 days before i left,if mara is efficient enough and being a able to grab the ticket that i'm asking for..i wont be coming back for atleast a one point or another after this year,we may bump into each other but at that time i think it wont be that hard to act normal.a year is not to soon to get over and not too long for healing process.just perfect :)

everlasting changes take time.given enough,adapting will not be that hard.i did what my dearest petsib told ayat dia 'kau jgn lah melongok je kt umah,keluar laaaa..enjoy!'

wpun sy xtau ape maksud melongok tp mgkn dr ayat tu what he meant was jgn duk rumah xwt pape..hahaha..

madam madalene once said,mask..given enough time will become the real face.fake a smile and eventually u wud find yourself smiling it does come from the depth of my soul.i enjoy the presence of my closest friends.everyone is offering me a shoulder to cry on but i refuse coz now what i need is just a smile on every faces i met and that would mean everything to me..

sometimes friends tell you things you wanna hear,only true friends would tell you the truth though it may hurt you in any way.i like like like what izzie said to me!will keep that in mind babe :))

the happiest person doesnt get the best of everything but she makesthe best out of everything she has :))

i'm not one of those kind that would let one thing destroys another.sounds cliche but yes,life must go on..
sy suke lagu kt blog sy ini..lagunye sgt positive..hahahaha..optimistic :)

Thursday, September 2, 2010


i'm gonna win this time!
whatever that supposed to mean..hahahhaa

a friend asked me,do you think i'm loyal?
my answer is simple-one day if you meet the right one,u'll be loyal no matter how hard it dont you worry about that.

i believe in destiny and fate and of course it is determined by just put my trust on Him coz He knows best.

i need to thank made my day :))

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

sleep 4vea

i was feeling a bit tired these few days.but thank God i'm done with visa n mara's agreement..i just need to wait for the allowance to be given so that i can proceed to the most exciting thing in my to do list-shopping!!!

well today i went to kl central to apply for enrich card-to get extra 10kg for my check in baggage(for MAS only)
n then we,me syawal and maddy took our steps to pwtc-thru masjid jamek interchange station to do our isis card-this card enable us to get a lot of discounts world wide :D-i love discounts,who doesnt aite?oh i almost forget,at 8.30 am,i walked to the nearest school to certify my documents n jd witness utk laaa nasib org merantau..kalau kt kelantan kn senang...;((

then i went on my own to LHDN petaling jaya,kena matikan stem utk perjanjian..then g mara anta segalanya...fuhhhh..lega....but then abg najib (mara officer) said,idzni!yg laptop ni you kena cop pembekal..g balik kt sunway pyramid n then baru submit tau.

i was like what????oh pleaseeeeeeee..:(((

weekend ni lah g sunway buat sume tuuuu..haih..

i just have about 2 weeks to be spent here,so kinda occupied..i felt sooooooooooooo tired but then i know this will pass n after these two weeks,i'll enjoy myself in london n the next week,my gf will join me..

God,i'm so tired but actually this helps me a lot to get to sleep easily every nite..thank know what's the best for me.

went to a lot of places that brought up old memories to the surface but trust me,it wont go beyond that anymore :))